Stir fry with Old Rice, Chicken…. Ok, wait… cooking ingredients in order, on low heat diced yellow onion, slivered garlic. Let that cook in some oil on medium low for 1-2 minutes in a wok. Don’t burn that shit or you will ruinet it ( I spelled ruinet correctly). Then, fire that bastard up to high and put in Old Rice, Old Chicken, then green onion. Flip, flip, flip. You guessed it, flip. Pause and let the wok get HOT. Drizzle soy sauce around the upper edge of the wok. It will burn and get you that flavor that you have been trying to get all those years back while you were inadvertently getting your college girlfriend fat by trying to figure out how to cook pork fried rice. Well, you are older and now you know.
Get a burner that will do the job, they are not that expensive. Google your local asian market and pickup a wok, they cost less than a pint of craft brew. You’re life just got better. You are welcome.